Love is Not Only a Feeling But a Decision

The Bible defines LOVE according to 1 Cor. 13:1-13) as;
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If I speak with tongues of men and angels but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and know all the mysteries and all knowledge; have all faith so as to move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. (1 Cor. 13:1-3)

I love one particular scene in the movie “Crocodile Dundee.”A folk hero from the outback country of Australia, Crocodile Dundee visits New York City for the first time. While accompanied by a female newspaper writer, he finds himself cornered by a gang of young thugs. When Dundee does not immediately produce his wallet, one young hoodlum pulls out a switch blade and threatens Crocodile Dundee. Nonplused by such aggression, Crocodile simply reaches behind his back with the words, “That’s not a knife,” suddenly producing the largest knife I have ever seen, “This is a knife!” Quickly disarmed, the hoodlums run for their lives. As I read Chapter 1 of Corinthians 13, I see Apostle Paul somewhat like Crocodile Dundee. His words seem to say, “That’s not love. This is love!”

Two years ago, my wife and I had attended a Marriage Encounter Seminar upon the invitation of a family friend. There in the seminar, couple-participants were made to listen as the speakers do their sharing and conceptualize the topic at the end of each sharing. One particular subject that gets into my line of thinking was the topic as posted on the board that reads: “Love is not only a feeling but a decision.” At first, I couldn’t understand the message behind that topic but as the speaker starting to narrate her own life story, the picture becomes clearer to me. At that point, I realized how love in its initial state of being a mere feeling can turn into a decision-prompted action.

Disillusion is a stage when a relationship reached a certain point of plateau. With nothing new to offer and with both partners succumb to a series of dull moments, the mind is starting to entertain the idea of assessing one’s “needs and wants.” A lull in a relationship can make passion and romance vanished in instant especially when common realities of life come into play. Money matters, child-rearing, monotonous sex life and even simple misunderstanding could diminish the intimacy of a marriage relationship. This disillusion can turn a promising love story in a kaput; the relationship’s break-even point. There at that point, one’s decision could spell the relationship’s ending or its moving to the next level.

This decision oftentimes can be shaped by one’s recollection of things you did together in the past, either good or bad. Good memories could be a recollection of how the two of you first met, how you fell in love with each other and how your partner captures your heart. A telltale sign of the not so good memories lies on how these unfortunate memories overwhelmed the good ones. Whatever is the outcome of such decision defines our complete understanding or the lack of it when it comes to love. Your decision to let bad memories overwhelmed good ones is a simile of the small blade that the young hoodlum poked upon Crocodile Dundee. “That is not a knife. This is a Knife!”

Love is kind and is not jealous. Pure love is the one who does not take into account a wrong suffered for love keeps no records of wrongdoings. Love requires a forgiving heart for marriage after all is a union of two forgiving partners. Love is patient and requires one to endure all things, bears all things and believes all things. Love is selfless and never fails if you play a bit blind to your partner’s inconsistencies. If not for my wife’s being blind in all of my shortcomings, our marriage could never be the way we are now.

Of course more easily said than done but it is after all how a relationship should work. A relationship that requires a decision to fall in love again to the same person you promised to be with the rest of your life. Lest we forget that we swore to love the one who wears our ring that even at its worst, love still remains the same today, tomorrow and the days to come.