Saturday, June 6, 2009

Making Marriage Work Even In the Time of Migration

Absence makes the heart grow ponder but sometimes distance in a relationship is emotionally draining and can put stress on a marriage. Having a work that requires being away from my family for a long time poses a challenge to my marriage not to mention, the erosion of physical intimacy which is one of the important elements of marriage. However, intimacy can be more than just physical closeness for its how couple “connects” and be present to each other every day.

Most couples think that being involved sexually is the most intimate part of their marriage. Praying together, however, may be an even deeper form of intimacy. A first step may be praying for each other even if not in one another's presence.

Make Use of the Technology to Fill-in the Gap

Sometimes the distance in a relationship is emotional and can happen while in each other’s presence. Be present to each other today. If possible, connect with each other right now – a glance, a call, an e-mail, a positive thought, a prayer. Communication should be maintained open at any cost. Be more creative when communicating with each other, more than just the usual “HI” and “HELLO” that oftentimes lead to monotonous conversation. Be resourceful and creative. Engage in some unique practices that help the two of you sparks an interactive dialogue even when you are apart for awhile. Engage in an activity that prompts discussion between you and your spouse
I had this questionnaire downloaded on the internet that prompted a healthy and lively dialogue between me and my wife. I sent her an e-mail of this questionnaire for her to read in advance and both of us agreed about the time we will go on-line for a chat. During the dialogue, the questionnaire prompted us to check with each other to see how close we are in interpreting others words and moods. In this practice, guessing what your spouse would answer is as not as important as the discussion you have as a result of it.

Try To See a Positive Angle for Every Sorrow

Being away from your loved ones is not that easy and at times can put you in despair. However, do not abandon yourself to sorrow and do not torment yourself with brooding. There’s always a hundred reasons and causes for our sorrow but try to look at it in a positive point of view.

When I was still working in the Philippines, me and my wife enjoyed the opportunity of having a dialogue every we had an opportunity. Both of us like to talk about everything, from family, career, child rearing, politics and even life in general. We enjoy talking to each other and we never had a dull moment even at times that our topic was just rehearsed of our previous dialogue. It was year 2007 when I landed an overseas job in the Middle East. Physically separated and miles apart, I saw the opportunity out of my desperation to discover my passion for writing. Now, I’m having a small but growing numbers of readers who appreciate my articles, mostly related to marriage relationship. But the most important thing of all aside of finding new ways of expressing my appreciation to my wife, we just put our marriage experience in a new pedestal; the World Wide Web.

Cherished and Achieve Common Goal Together

As the saying goes, “Love does not require to look at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.” I may not be physically seeing my wife nowadays but I know we have common path to travel and someday I know we can meet in path for we have our most cherished common goal.

Distance can put stress on a marriage relationship but as long as couple knows how to fill-in the gap to sustain their love in the time of migration, they can never go wrong.

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