Wednesday, March 26, 2008
I'm an Addict
The word “addict,” perceived to be as always associated with the used of prohibited drugs is doomed to get a negative connotation in the public’s perception. But addiction to God's words has never been a regrettable thing to have though it yields the same effect -- getting "high."
I used to have a half-hearted relationship with God. While I believed in His wonders, my faith is wavering and nothing compare to the size of a mustard seed until I realized that life’s difficulties are the key to understanding my life’s purpose.
Looking for a better future is what parent’s desire for their family. Driven by that desire, I stepped out of my comfort zone to toil in far away land where loneliness is unfathomed. To be a first time alien in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia only means one thing; desolation. Complete isolation from your family and living in a totally unfamiliar habitat is like loneliness in eternity. What I didn’t see however was the opportunity given to discover my life’s purpose.
How my “Addiction” Started
The absence of whatever forms of diversion is God’s subtle way of introducing His words to me. Having no other means of past time, I came to know Bible reading as an effective way of killing time. How I got my Bible here in the Kingdom where just a mere possession of it is considered an apostasy happened not by chance but on purpose. I managed to borrow it from a friend one night when I had a serious bout with my insomnia. I have this idea that reading anything uninteresting could help me doze quickly. To ensure the success of that mission; I started reading the Old Testament.
So many hours passed and still the sleep that I ever wanted remains elusive. Worse, it made me awake the whole night. Verse after verse, I didn’t stop reading until I realized that I was covering chapter after another. This habit has been my steady past time every night and like an addict; my addiction has gone worst that even in the morning just before going to work, browsing the Book of Song’s is a part of my routine.
I became a “Pusher”
Days had passed into weeks and months but my addiction to Bible reading is taking its toll out of me. I just found myself so immense in sharing what I have read as if I was in the constant look of new “buyers.” I realized that there is no sure way of “pushing” God’s stuff than the web.
Matthew 9:37-38 explain how Jesus sought the help of His Father asking Him to appoint people who will spread His words. The parable is similar to a bountiful harvest but workers are less to reap its bounty. God has been trying to send us invitation to work in His vineyard only that we’ve always refuse to confirm its R.S.V.P. When I received my invitation to the banquet, I never asked the Host why? Instead, what I asked of Him is to help me make other people know Him more.
Now I’m using the NET and sharing His words makes me feel “high”. Perhaps it’s a serious indication that I’m indeed an addict but definitely; I don’t need cure.