Sunday, January 25, 2009
Marriage - Open Both Eyes Before, Close One Eye After
“Undress yourselves before you get involved and make a commitment to someone for there’s no turning back once you’re there.” These were the words given to all couple-participants when my wife and I had our pre-nuptial seminar given by a parish worker in a local church where our wedding is to be solemnized. The room was filled with laughter when I replied, “I thought undressing comes after the wedding ceremony?”
These words though rhetoric but are as equally important like what an African proverb says, “Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye.”
Before you get involved and make commitment to someone, don’t let lust, desperation, pressure from others make you blind to warning signs. You and your partner have many different expectations, emotional needs, values and dreams. Keep both eyes open and don’t fool yourself that you can change someone during the course of your marriage. Before committing yourself, have some time to observe the person who will become a part of your life. The more you open your eyes to evaluate his/her quality, respect, love and truth, the more easer it will become for you to decide who gets to sit beside you while watching your favorite television program.
Once you decide to commit to someone, over time, their flaws and vulnerabilities will become more obvious. But if you love your partner and want the relationship to grow and evolve to the next level, you’ve got to learn how to close one eye and not let little thing to bother you. These flaws however can turn into your advantage depending on how each one of you compliments the other. Neither of you are perfect, but you can be perfect for each other depending on how one completes the other. Try to look the gap in your hand’s fingers? Do you know what those gap means? Those gaps are meant to be complimented by your partner’s hand.
Marriage is accepting the person as what he/she is and not what you expect him/her to be. Partners are two imperfect but unique individual children of god who have decided to share a life together. And despite these imperfections that were seen by both eyes before marriage, closing one eye after will enables you to see not these imperfections but that someone who shared the altar with you when you said, “I do.”